


Inside Temps Aeternalis

by PaddieCake



Series: Hargreeves Family Spaghetti Bowl of Fun [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternative chapter, Gen, Inside The Commission, also some plot stuff, i have this written so I'm posting it, new handler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 10:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23350042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaddieCake/pseuds/PaddieCake
Summary: A few small ideas that I couldn't quite explain in the other stories.
Series: Hargreeves Family Spaghetti Bowl of Fun [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674742
Comments: 5
Kudos: 82





	1. The Handler Makes a Decision

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place directly after Grim Surprise, and just sort of kind of explains why they were there? I guess?
> 
> This whole thing has gotten away from me xD. I'm enjoying myself, so you know xD.
> 
> I'm saying this is complete, but I may just include other short plot points I have about/regarding the Commission in here? I'm not sure yet, so we'll see :3.
> 
> I have another fic I'm working on right now, so that's fun!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new Handler.
> 
> They had a plan.
> 
> It failed.
> 
> Or:
> 
> Why did The Comission send such an ineffectual person to dispatch the Hargreeves?

The Handler sighed as someone knocked on their office door. They hadn't made any appointments, hadn't asked anyone to come into the office.

The Handler was still trying to get everything in order after _The Incident_ . Their predecessor had failed at not only keeping the timeline on track, but failed at _existing_. She had been killed by two rogue agents.

It was unacceptable. But they were going to right the timeline. The Apocalypse was going to happen. It didn't affect them in any way. They would continue existing, the world would continue existing. 

It would just be different.

Better.

The point still stands, though. No one should be knocking on their door.

"Enter."

The Handler frowned deeply, spotting one of their new recruits standing in the doorway. He was covered in sweat and bruises, breathing heavily, mumbling about a chainsaw.

The Handler stared at him in shock. He should _definitely_ not be there. Flipping through their files they pulled out the one that read 'Grim-Chainsaw Mission'.

What stupid names for such stupid people.

"He betrayed us! And got my chainsaw destroyed! You have to do something!" The man yelled, not waiting to be addressed before marching to the desk, slamming his hands on the top of it.

The Handler frowned, reading the papers, not saying a word. That was the problem with their predecessor. She spoke too much. She played games. She got too personal. The current Handler had no such compunctions. 

"Your partner is still alive?" The Handler asked calmly, ignoring Chainsaw's ramblings. He seemed to have devolved into cursing and yelling once more. Honestly they were surprised he was even capable of speech. He always had a penchant for shouting gibberish.

" _Yes_ ! He, he just. He. Ugh, I don't _know_ what. He was just. He knew them! He must have! He betrayed the organization."

The Handler frowned deeply. They hadn't expected either of them to live long enough for that to happen. Everything they knew suggested the Hargreeves were disinclined to talk to an enemy. Fight, kill, worry about why later.

Grim was supposed to die. Chainsaw too, if they could help it. Saving the ex-soldier had been pointless.

"Did _anyone_ die?" They asked.

"No, but-"

The Handler ignored him. They miscalculated. The Apocalypse was still not on track. It was already months late, which was _fine_. Time was relative after all. But only to them.

At least it should only be relative to them.

The Handler rubbed a hand over their face. "Who was there?" They asked, pulling out a pen. They had been hoping Vanya Hargreeves would be there. She was a ticking time bomb, after all.

Isolating her was the ultimate goal, after all. If she killed someone they cared about and caused a rift, well. 

"Uhm, a teeny kid? And a pastry chef. He threw knives at us! And then some guy with no pants." Chainsaw said, furrowing his eyebrows. "He's the one Grim seemed to know."

  
  


Five Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves.

"Grim didn't recognize the last one while fighting?"

"Oh, he didn't show up until after we'd been captured." He said, scratching a spot on the back of his neck. 

"No one else?"

"Not that I saw."

The Handler hummed, putting their pen down. Why wasn't Vanya there? Orchestra, probably. They couldn't figure out where else she could be. 

Her siblings didn't like her after that book, after all. 

It would have been so much worse if she killed one of their lovers. 

The question was what to do next. 

They could go back, but there was no guarantee that the right Hargreeves would be there. It could just be the exact same scenario again. Unlikely, but there was too much that could go wrong.

"What are you going to do about this?" Chainsaw asked, frantically flailing his arms for emphasis. 

The Handler rubbed small circles into their head, trying to ease their budding headache. 

They pulled out a gun and shot him right between the eyes.

"Can you please come in here and clean the mess?" The Handler asked, pressing a finger on an intercom button.

"Yes, Handler!"

The Handler pulled out a few more files. Hazel and Cha-Cha were MIA or dead in this timeline, useless.

Eudora Patch was still alive, but if her file was correct, there was no way she'd ever consider joining them. 

Patrick Buchanan, could work. But not with the little one. Too conspicuous. Someone would notice if he and his daughter went missing

Reginald Hargreeves, completely unreliable, defected because of the Apocalypse. Dead, much trickier to bring on board.

The Handler sighed, reading the last name. It was so cliche. Too obvious. But there was a reason they tracked him the first time around. A history, just as dysfunctional, just as petty as the Hargreeves.

He was alive, hadn't managed to make contact with the Hargreeves.

Vanya would still be sore about it. Hopefully sore enough to jumpstart the

The Secretary came in to dispose of the body, tossing it out into the dumpster under their window.

The Handler grabbed a briefcase and held on tightly to the file of one Harold Jenkins.


	2. The Handler Has a Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more insight into Temps Aeternalis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another little thinado that I had in my head, but couldn't exactly find anywhere yo include it:3

The Handler walked past the office of the case managers, tap, tap, tapping away at their typewriters. They passed by their office, and into a small office located in the lower level of Headquarters.

Two people sat in chairs, one a woman named Carole Valentino, the other Harold Jenkins himself, the bringer of the Apocalypse, so to speak. 

Between them was a book, red leather-bound, a gilded RH embossed on the cover. Next to it lay a stack of pictures and a small phial.

"They didn't lock their windows, we were able to sneak in no problem." Carole said, grinning. "If I hadn't managed to get inside with that stupid show it would have been much more difficult." She said.

"What's this stuff for anyway?" Harold asked, flipping through the book absently, as The Handler took the phial, holding it up to the light. 

"This is a serum that has incredible healing capabilities. Number Five was modifying a sample of this to revert his brother to his original body… I want to modify it for you… and our other assassins." They said. "Our technology only goes so far, after all. And this was taken from one of our old doctors."

Harold eyed the phial with glee. "You're saying that will give me real powers?"

"Oh, yes. It will…" They agreed.


	3. Alternative to Everyone Finding Out Klaus Isn't Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just how I initially planned the phone call in Running Just as Fast as We Can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta, unedited, just copy and pasted without checking anything x3. I did like how this was going, but it didn't flow well. I may tweak it and use it in another story somehow.

The radio set up they had surrounded crackled again, and a familiar voice echoed through it.

"Uh, yeah, anyone there? Jeez, this is stupid, how does a radio even die?" The voice muttered. "Ok, uh. It's Klaus? Assuming anyone who can hear this knows who I am… I'm dead. Sort of. But uh, I could probably come back? Maybe? But it's taking awhile, so…"

"Klaus! Klaus, hey darlin', can you hear me?" Dave said, quickly grabbing the receiver from Five, thumb brushing across it gently. 

A relieved sigh crackled through the speaker, a small, hysterical sob reaching their ears. "Dave. Dave.  _ Hey _ . I'm ok, I promise." The voice said softly, causing Dave to take in a shaky breath.

The Hargreeves looked at each other. They caught on to Klaus saying he might be able to come back. Ben stood there, smirking as if to say 'I told you so'. 

Diego moved to take the radio, but decided to give Dave and Klaus a moment. Their voices had grown low, gentle, private.

Patch motioned for the Hargreeves to huddle around, eyeing them carefully. "Do you really think he could come back?"

Ben shrugged "Like I said, he already did once." 

"Yeah, but  _ how _ ?" Five asked in a hushed voice, glancing back to Dave who was sporting a soft smile, lips moving in quiet

conversation.

"He hit his head at that rave, and I thought it was just because he was resuscitated, but then he told me about meeting dad, so…"

Allison furrowed her brow. "That rave Luther went to?"

"Oh, Lottie's ex!" Vanya said, with a look of horror on her face. "She told me he was a jackass, and well… you know. " Vanya muttered 

"Why was Klaus even going to a rave?" Diego pointed out, looking towards his brother, before remembering he wasn't actually there.

"To help me. I was… I was being an asshole, and he was trying to stop me…" Luther muttered, rubbing his face in frustration. 

"Bro, relax. There's no point beating yourself up about this."

"It was the ex's fault  _ anyway _ . He hurt Klaus, not you." Vanya said, pulling Luther into a tight hug. 

"Klaus definitely doesn't blame you, neither do I. Trust me." Ben said, giving him a tight nod and placing a hand on Luther's shoulder. 

"I think this is as weird as the fighting." Patch muttered.

"Yeah, I have to admit, it's a bit strange." Dave said, voice still rough from crying. 

"Aww, are you guys hugging without me? Lame. Anyway, dad and I think we have an idea how to get me back to my body, but uh… it could take a bit to get it right." He said. "You uh… didn't bury it, right?"

"Nah, but we couldn't exactly go full  _ Weekend at Bernie's _ , either." Ben said, voice apologetic. 

"I had  _ one _ wish, Ben.  _ One _ … ok, well two, but Dave has the second one covered." Klaus rambled. "Uh… but like… is my body ok? You're keeping an eye on it? Because I kind of need it…"

The Hargreeves looked at each other, silence saying more than they could. 

"Uhm… The Commission has it." Luther said quickly. "And the Briefcase is broken." He added under his breath.

"Sorry, could you repeat that?"

Luther bit his lip, managing his best puppy dog look. "N-nothing!"

Dave smacked him lightly, rolling his eyes. "The Commission has your body and the Briefcase is broken. But we're working on fixing it and rescuing you."

"My knight in shining armor." Klaus sighed wistfully. "But also why do they have my body? You couldn't stop them from stealing it?"

"Uh, well they might have stolen it afterwards? Like while we were asleep." Diego said, scratching the back of his neck.

They could imagine what Klaus' expression was, how he had his hand pressed against his heart in mock-offense. "Wow. I thought we were getting along, and  _ this _ is how you repay me? Wait why did they want my body anyway?"

"To make you an assassin, darlin'. But we won't let them."

Klaus let out a soft sigh, they all knew the dopey, fluttery-eyed look he was getting. 

"Could be why you aren't coming back… Whatever the Commission has been doing to bring you back could be interfering with you trying to get back." Five said quickly, pulling out a book and scribbling the new information down. 

"Sure, could be… Hey, you know I'm surprised you guys managed to find a working radio there…"

Everyone turned to look at each other, but Patch rolled her eyes and answered with "We aren't in the Apocalypse, anymore. We're in the 1980s, haven't gotten an exact date yet."

"Huh, ok, cool. Wait, what happens if we're born while you guys are there? Oh! You could adopt us! Dave, what if we adopted mini-me!"

Dave snorted, "I think we'd be better off adopting mini-Five, darlin'."

Five's eyes widened in horror.

"That would be  _ great _ ! You'd be so much nicer!" 

"Guys, come on, let's focus." Patch said, already knowing it was pointless.

"Nah, Klaus I think we're pre-Madonna." Allison said after taking a moment to look around. 

"That's an understatement." Diego muttered.

"Wow, you went to the worst part of the 80s, good job guys, keep it up."

"Hey, you're dead, asshole, you're more messed up than we are." Ben called.

Klaus snorted "I think being dead is the least messed up I could be."

Vanya smacked Ben in the chest "Stop making fun of him for being dead." She hissed.

Ben stared at her a moment " _ I _ was dead! He made fun of me all the time!" 

"Yeah, be nice to your sad, dead brother,  _ Ben _ ." 

"If I could hit you right now, I would." 

"Please stop threatening to hit my fiancé." Dave said. "Hey, didn't you say your dad was there?"

Everyone's head snapped up, and Klaus let out an annoyed sigh. "Yeah, I already yelled at him for killing you, don't worry babe."

"Did you yell at him for all the other shit?" Patch asked, jaw clenched.

"Uh, sort of. It doesn't ma-"

"Dad's  _ helping _ you?" Diego said, with even more surprise. "When has he ever done that?"

"Yeah, it's weird, but-"

"It's  _ insane _ ! He's never done anything for us before, now he's dead he wants to atone? Bullshit." Diego let out an annoyed huff, and Luther nodded in agreement.

Klaus sighed, and Dave could practically see him rolling his eyes. "No, he's still a grade A asshole, but he's, you know. He knows shit, and it helps to bounce ideas off him." Klaus said softly. "It also helps that I can banish him if he gets too much. Perks of having powers, I guess." He added. "He isn't here right now, figured he doesn't deserve answers if I can help it."

"I'll still beat him up for you, darlin'." Dave offered. 

"Nah, it's cool." 

"How are you talking to us right now, anyway?" Five asked, as if suddenly realizing the situation.

"Oh, there's like a radio here? I'm not sure how. It just kind of appeared, and then dad started rambling, and it took me a couple of tries to get  _ anything _ . Didn't think you'd even be able to pick up, but here we are."

"How did it get there?"

"Dad said some mumbo jumbo about my powers manifesting things in a world my powers 'shine in', but I like to think a radio died and is now a ghost… or whatever this place is."

Five hummed in acknowledgement. "Sure, if you're in an afterlife of sorts it would make sense your powers would be stronger there. I'd try conjuring other things if you get the chance, it might get us to stabilize your powers a bit more here, when you get back."

"Uh, maybe, yeah…" Klaus said cautiously, Dave clutched the talkie a bit tighter, as if holding onto his fiancé's hand.

"He's already got control over his powers." Dave said, eyeing Five. 

"Yeah, but he still has trouble summoning ghosts."

"Because he doesn't like doing it…" Dave said, a warning tone in his voice.

Five sighed, putting up a hand to concede his point. "But when he gets back we might need to use his abilities to get around places. Also, I'm just interested for curiosity's sake." Five admitted.

Klaus remained pointedly silent throughout the conversation, and Dave looked down at the radio, frowning. "You there, darlin'?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Davie. I'll try, yeah? At least when dad isn't around." Klaus said softly, as if he didn't want Reginald to overhear him. 

The sound of a truck's horn blaring jolted the Hargreeves, Patch, and Dave from the conversation. 

"We should probably find somewhere to stay the night." Patch pointed out, watching as the shop owner glared at the group of them huddled in the shop.

"We're going to buy this one." Dave said, holding it up, and trying to give the shop owner an innocent smile.


End file.
